Got Five Minutes? 一位前中学生，现在是一名作家和记者，说这足以挽救一条生命
June 13, 2024
June 13, 2024
By Xandra Harbet
12岁那年，我以为所有人都放弃了我. Feeling like a burden to my family, my teachers, and even the mental health professionals I’d seen, I had given up on myself, too. Sixth grade marked the first time I’d wanted to die, 七年级是我第一次尝试实现梦想.
When you’re 12, six years feels like an eternity, 因此，很难想象自己能顺利度过动荡的青春期. Many suicidal kids don’t necessarily want to die, 但是，当你对自己的处境几乎无法控制时，绝望就会成为一种强大的束缚. Back then, I leaned into my persona as the weird, 在我对他产生感情之前把别人推开. 我从治疗中了解到，这是那些在家里感到被拒绝的人常见的应对机制.
但我生命中有一个成年人从未放弃过我. 一个没有被我尖刻的讽刺吓倒的人, chaotic behavior, 当我在功课上遇到困难时，我倾向于自我封闭:我七年级的数学老师, Mr. W.
在当游泳教练和攻读博士学位之间. W是我认识的最忙的人，但他不肯让我从地球上消失. Mr. 午餐时间，我煞费苦心地解释我那可怕的技能表作业中的每一个问题. 每周的工作表由与当年课程无关的问题组成, 我的神经分化的大脑无法解开我用来逃避现实的幻想世界里的狮身人面像的谜语.
当他看到这个特殊的任务让我完全停止尝试, he decided to let me skip it, so long as I completed my daily homework. 有些老师拒绝体谅有不同想法的孩子. But Mr. W的住宿使一个沮丧的学生变成了一个努力的人. As a result, I was able to improve my grade.
Mr. W’s class was right before lunch, and I tend to tear up when I yawn, which was a common occurrence in math class. (Sorry, Mr. W.) During these teary-eyed moments, Mr. W总是会确保我没事，尽管教室里还有其他20个学生. That small act of care meant a lot.
My two-week stint in the psychiatric ward, which followed my suicide attempt, 感觉更像是被判了刑，而不是赎罪. 只有我的思想和发黄的墙壁陪伴着我的单调的时间是痛苦的. There was no music, TV, 或者任何让我在这肮脏的墙外苟且偷生的东西. 这是你能对一个像我这样有多动症和情绪障碍的孩子做的最糟糕的事情. Visits from Mr. W were the highlight of my time there, 给我一点正常和轻松的玩笑，让我暂时忘记了自己身在何处.
在中学和随后的岁月里，我有很多关心我的老师. However, 我与大人的大部分关系——无论是校内还是校外——感觉都像是义务交易. But it was different with Mr. W. 他并不是想把我变成另一个人，甚至不是想把我变成数学优等生. He just wanted to remind me that I mattered; importantly, 他记得要挤出时间和空间来做这件事.
Every day, 当我可以发泄的时候，他给了我五分钟专心的时间, talk about my life, 或者详细回顾一下那一周我痴迷的电视节目. 第二年，在他的空闲时间，他让我在他的教室里吃午饭, even though he wasn’t even my teacher anymore.
When I was in high school, I went back to visit Mr. W weekly, 我记得我告诉他，有个体育老师问我，我怎么能容忍自己在他让我们做的任何乏味的训练中都不主动. “他不知道，”我以前的数学老师告诉我，我从来没有像现在这样被理解过.
Years on, 我偶尔会在大学休息的时候去他的教室, and without fail, he’d set aside five minutes for me. 我已经有一段时间没有回到我的老中学去参观了, but I still keep in touch with Mr. W.
生活是混乱的，我们很容易被琐事所困扰. Too often, 孩子和青少年觉得被生活中忙碌的成年人所忽视, which can have real and devastating consequences. 根据经验，我知道反过来也是正确的. 五分钟的认可和善意可以挽救一个正在挣扎的年轻人的生命.
If it weren’t for Mr. W, I might not be here today. On some level, he knew that his time made a difference for me, 但直到我给他写了一封信，并把信写在我发表的第一篇短篇小说的作者页上，他才意识到他救了我的命.
Xandra Harbet (XandraHarbet.com) is a journalist, essayist, 也是一位创意作家，他的作品曾出现在沙龙等媒体上, Insider, The Daily Dot, Regal, and StyleCaster. 她在伦道夫学院获得英语文学学士学位，主修创意写作, 还在林奇堡地区为学生授课并帮助运营一个课后项目. 你可以通过@XandraHarbet在所有社交媒体平台上找到她. 这篇文章是经过她和Chalkbeat (Chalkbeat)的许可转载的.org), where it first appeared.
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